Talking shit mostly

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

i'm not down

so i just looked at my boyfriend's blog (also not written in for the past 4 months) and damnit if we don't have the same template and style of writing (full sentences with periods but no capitilization ever). ugg. i'm hopelessly unoriginal. now i have to spend time tweaking mine so it looks different.

so, i'm at work...trying to keep busy. i got hungry at 11:30 and ate my leftovers at my desk and now i'm obsessively watching a stopclock, waiting for the moment i get to go into the lab and switch solutions and get to feel like i actually did something today. besides reading television without pity so that i could find out what other television dorks thought about what was going to happen on Lost, the Apprentice, Desperate Housewives and life as we know it. i just...it's so paralyzing being here. thats the only way i know how to describe it. i know i need to refocus, i know i need to figure some shit out. i just can't. or don't want to. i don't know. let me give you some history:

2 years ago i was happily working at a little biotech company by the airport. i got to travel and i enjoyed working in the lab growing bacteria. but then, company not doing so well, rounds of layoffs...survived the first one but the second one took out more than half the company, myself included.
so then i started working at a slightly bigger biotech past the airport and across the bay. i enjoyed working in the bigger and fancier labs growing prostate cells. but i did not enjoy working 50+ hours a week nor the 45min and a bridge commute twice a day.
so when little biotech called and said they were recovering and did i want to come back for exciting new projects, travel to exotic countries and a raise in salary and a shorter commute, i said yes.
so now i am back at little biotech which was a little weird for me. i really missed my old buddies at slightly bigger biotech and my work load was almost diminished by too much (i need to keep busy!). i did however, enjoy the shorter commute and more time spent at home. but when i made the decision to come back here i knew there was a risk. the exciting new projects and exotic travel were contingent on some specific data results that did not turn out the way we expected/hoped. so 1 month after my arrival, the reason i was hired is no longer applicable. my bacterial growing skills are no longer needed. so, in short, i did not get laid off again but the prospect of projects, travel and workload have all dried up.
our group has no direction and i am caught between riding this out and figuring out another role for myself that is helpful for the company or jumping ship and finding another place that i can happily grow some sort of cells. in the meantime, who knows?

2 Comments:

Blogger NotSmartDum said...

Friend's writing stuff totally rules. It's rad that what seems like the two choices available are

A) Feeling horrible because you don't have the opportunity to do what you are good at or learn interesting new things or

2) Feeling horrible because your interesting new work projects take over your life leaving all of your outside of work life-bits to crumble into dust.

Oh well, like your boyfriend's instant messenger away message used to say work is for jerks...

3:08 PM

 
Blogger tari said...

you said it, bro

3:30 PM

 

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